The Mae West attributed quote “flattery will get you everywhere” may be good advice. Sometimes.
Research published in the Journal of Marketing Research demonstrates flattery leaves a lasting and positive impression of the flatterer, even when people believe it is insincere. In the experiment, participants were shown a flyer from a fictitious clothing store complimenting them for being stylish and chic. It didn’t matter to the participants that the compliment wasn’t aimed specifically at them or that there was a clearly articulated ulterior motive asking them to shop at the store. They were 50% more likely to choose a coupon from the store that flattered them over a coupon from a similar store.
On a conscious level, the students discounted the value of the compliment because of its impersonal nature and the ulterior motive. But careful assessment of their unconscious feelings — known in research as implicit attitudes — revealed they felt more positively about the store than participants who hadn’t seen the flyer. This study supports several others showing gut feelings are stickier than conscious opinions.
Our susceptibility to flattery stems from an innate desire to feel good about ourselves. This has important ramifications for us marketers. If we persuade a customer consciously using rational facts, they will retain the conviction until a better counterargument comes along. However, if we persuade a customer on a gut level however, they will retain the belief even in the face of contradictory evidence.
On the surface, we ought to be able to apply this technique in our interpersonal relationships or at work. For example, we might use insincere flattery to convince our boss into giving us a better performance review and a raise. However, apparently this doesn’t really work.
According to research from Darren Treadway and others, if a supervisor perceives a subordinate’s flattery as insincere, the employee will be rated lower on job performance. The supervisor only rates an employee higher if he/she truly believes the sentiment is sincere. Unfortunately, most flatterers are aren’t very good at it so risk receiving a lower performance score.
How do you explain the fundamental different results in the two studies? Perhaps insincere flattery does not change gut feelings when delivered face-to-face. Treadway speculates sincerity may be less important for “one-shot interactions like those in the retail study.”
In other words, flattery works, sometimes.
Damn you! You raise my hopes and then you dash them 🙂
I think Confucius said it best when he said:
Clearly, the right technique is to find SOMETHING about your boss that you can admire and praise that, sincerely… The one time I found myself unable to do this, the person was fired within a few weeks, thankfully…
I wonder if this works across global regions…
Holly, it’s an interesting question but I note that the shopper study was conducted in APJ.
Treadway’s study looks at how supervisors perceive a subordinate’s flattery. What about the other way around?
In particular, when a supervisor is giving a subordinate negative feedback or constructive criticism, is it better to couch the criticism in a “compliment sandwich” as my 9 year old calls it? As in:
“You did x really well”
“You need to work on y”
“Keep up the good effort on z”
From a workforce productivity perspective, it would be interesting to know how phrasing praise/criticism might influence how an employee behaves.